Dr. Patel was able to get us in to see a Dr in San Antonio. We will be going to the Cancer Therapy and Research Center at the University of Texas Health Science Center. It is a research hospital known for it's Stage I cancer trials. A very kind nurse called me yesterday and confirmed our appointment for this Monday. Wow! That was quick. It was such a different experience compared to getting into MD Anderson. She said that Jeff could possibly qualify for a Stage II trial that is specifically for melanoma and a Stage I trial that is for all kinds of cancer. Our appointment Monday will only have to do with taking Jeff's history, reviewing his scans and determining which trial would benefit him the most. We are thrilled to have an option. Dr. Patel has not yet heard back from our dr at MDA but encouraged us to go to San Antonio for their opinion now. We can always go back to MDA for their opinion too. And I'm pretty sure they won't call with an appointment for next week.
Yesterday was a hard day for Jeff. He is struggling with intense anxiety. Calming him and reasurring ourselves is our full time job. But I will tell you this, Jeff's fear is not death, it's only the letting go. For all of you that know him, he has never backed down from anything so letting go will be a process for him. We have talked some about the letting go. The pain of missing someone forever is extreme. The part we hadn't anticipated is the beauty and rawness we feel accepting the unconditional love from everyone. At this point that's what generates most of my tears. We are humbled by the messages, the prayers, and the sweet words that have covered us up. The sincerity and reflection of God in your faces is almost more than we can bear. It is so sweet and pure and such a basic part of Christian love. Simple. I never knew it would be like this. Someone should have told me.
Thank you,
Jeff and Leta
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