Jeff and I just got home from the hospital. It has been a long, long day. He got much worse over the weekend. He passed out in the shower and hasn't been able to keep anything down for a day or two. He was up most of the night and we both knew things weren't good. First thing this morning we called the dr and said we will be there in an hour. We didn't ask we just went! Sure enough he was very dehydrated and needed IV fluid, nausea meds and two units of blood. Believe it or not it took 10 hours to get all of that done. But we did it. They changed his nausea meds and when I pulled up to the pharmacy to pick it up they said they were out. What?? I wanted to say ALL of the bad words but I refrained and simply pulled away. Which Jeff said was rude but I think it was nicer than saying all the bad words to the sweet girl behind the glass. Lucky for me I can drive to Amarillo tomorrow to pick up the new medicine. Although my sister offered to do it for me!! Thank you Katie.
So we are home and Jeff has eaten fried chicken and claims to feel better. He's in the shower without a guard and I'm trying to convince my kids we need to go to bed at 8. Jake asked if we were going Trick or Treating. I told him I would just buy him candy. I'm actually a better mother but I'm not on my A game today.
One thought I wanted to share that has been playing over and over in my mind. When our kids were babies my sisters and I came up with a catch phrase that basically describes parenthood. "If it's easy, you're probably not doing it right." Which means that everything in life worth a darn, you have to work hard for. It originally was applied to weaning a baby from a pacifier or reading the same book to your toddler 10 million times. But as my life goes on it seems to apply to everything. Of course right now when Jeff is fighting for his life it means chemo is hard but it's worth it. But it also means when you're tired and you want the easy way out - that's not the way to go. Life is hard. I think it's meant to be. Love, prayer, exercise, eating right, doing your job, raising your kids, being honest, making good choices, living within your means..... I could go on and on. You get my point. It's all hard. And Jeff and I aren't perfect. I'm always looking for the easy way out. I just think I realize that it doesn't exist. It's always going to be hard. But...... I think it's worth it to put in the effort and sweat a little. Push yourself and trust more. I'm not always an example of it but I do understand that it's a better way that I constantly strive for. So here I go. I'm going to read to Jake before I say his prayers. I'm going to help Gracie with her homework and talk to Luke more about football and how he is a good person no matter what the score says. I am going to drink a glass of wine first but I really don't think that's cheating. It's not going to be easy but the end result is worth it.
Love,
Leta
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