Well, the port is in with nothing exciting to report. It was very quick and Jeff is only a little sore. Dr. Patel called us (himself) and said Jeff will start chemo on Monday. So everything is going to plan. Hopefully he will only be in the hospital Monday thru Friday.
We had a great reassuring moment when the nurse came to discharge Jeff. She asked if she could pray with us. We were comforted that receiving treatment in Amarillo is the place for Jeff to be! We never had anything close to that moment the entire year and a half at MD Anderson. I truly believe that a major part of Jeff's fight and healing will be through the support and love of all our people! Please stay close!!! I love it that God confirmed that for us today. We thought it was a good choice.
Love, Jeff and Leta
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The Port - side note
The Dr. told Jeff the port is great! You can even bathe, shower and swim with it! My first thought - isn't that what they tell you when you have your period?? I hope he can even ride horses. Hee hee!
The Port
We met today with Dr. Dillman, the surgeon that will put in Jeff's port. He was very nice and understood our need to get this ball rolling! The prodecure will take place tomorrow morning - he made us the first case of the day! We like him already! Jeff will not have to be put to sleep.Whew! He will get conscious sedation which we call getting gorked out of your mind!(Very nice) They said it only takes about 10 minutes to put the port in so we hope we're home by lunch. And we hope this means that his chemo will start Monday. Dr. Patel should let us know tomorrow.
Jeff and I are trying to stay upbeat. I would describe it as up and down. There are moments we feel so hopeful and full of faith and we KNOW he can beat this. But other times we are lost in our anxiety, grief and saddness. Because of this we have both put off returning phone calls. It's just so hard to talk about this and we hate to constantly lose our shit! So please accept our apologizes and know that your calls and support mean the world to us. I think once the chemo starts it will be much easier to talk and the unknown won't be so scary. For now texting and emailing is our best communication.
There's a quote from the movie Steel Magnolia's. Shelby is talking to her mom and says something like - "I'd rather have one moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." That's the only reason Jeff and I can wrap our heads around cancer. You see, we've had so many moments of wonderful! Truly wonderful and special!! We still feel so blessed by the support and love of our friends and family. Our lives have been filled with the best of so many things. We are humbled and filled with awe. Thank you for your love and for making our lives full of wonderful! Our journey has never been ordinary.
I'll keep you posted on Jeff tomorow. You know he's strong and stubborn and scrappy! The perfect candidate to beat this disease and show statistics how wrong they can be!
Thanks for being on our team!
Love, Jeff and Leta
Jeff and I are trying to stay upbeat. I would describe it as up and down. There are moments we feel so hopeful and full of faith and we KNOW he can beat this. But other times we are lost in our anxiety, grief and saddness. Because of this we have both put off returning phone calls. It's just so hard to talk about this and we hate to constantly lose our shit! So please accept our apologizes and know that your calls and support mean the world to us. I think once the chemo starts it will be much easier to talk and the unknown won't be so scary. For now texting and emailing is our best communication.
There's a quote from the movie Steel Magnolia's. Shelby is talking to her mom and says something like - "I'd rather have one moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." That's the only reason Jeff and I can wrap our heads around cancer. You see, we've had so many moments of wonderful! Truly wonderful and special!! We still feel so blessed by the support and love of our friends and family. Our lives have been filled with the best of so many things. We are humbled and filled with awe. Thank you for your love and for making our lives full of wonderful! Our journey has never been ordinary.
I'll keep you posted on Jeff tomorow. You know he's strong and stubborn and scrappy! The perfect candidate to beat this disease and show statistics how wrong they can be!
Thanks for being on our team!
Love, Jeff and Leta
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Checking off our list!
Well today we got to meet Dr. Patel, the oncologist in Amarillo that will taking over Jeff's care so he can receive chemo in Amarillo instead of in Houston. We liked Dr. Patel and he seemed very knowledgeble. He said the first step is Jeff getting a port put in his chest so he will not have to be constantly stuck with needles. This is a 5-10 minute surgery. We meet with the surgeon tomorrow and I hope he can schedule Jeff Friday or Monday. Then Jeff will start chemo asap - Monday or Tuesday.
Dr. Patel confirmed what Dr. Hwu said that this will be a tough battle. We are hoping to stop the growth and spread of the cancer and give us some more time. There are a couple of trials out there that we have looked into. One in Maryland at NIH is promising but doesn't offer any higher odds than the chemo Jeff will get. So we will start with chemo and move onto trials if we need to.
We are still comforted to be at home and not having to travel for this. We feel the love and support all around us and it is keeping us going. Jeff is asking for daily dirty jokes and witty comments to make him laugh. I think that's a good sign!
We'll keep you posted!
Peace, Jeff and Leta
Dr. Patel confirmed what Dr. Hwu said that this will be a tough battle. We are hoping to stop the growth and spread of the cancer and give us some more time. There are a couple of trials out there that we have looked into. One in Maryland at NIH is promising but doesn't offer any higher odds than the chemo Jeff will get. So we will start with chemo and move onto trials if we need to.
We are still comforted to be at home and not having to travel for this. We feel the love and support all around us and it is keeping us going. Jeff is asking for daily dirty jokes and witty comments to make him laugh. I think that's a good sign!
We'll keep you posted!
Peace, Jeff and Leta
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Tough!
Wow! Today was a tough day. When we got home Thursday and we were so relieved to be home it felt great. We hugged our kids and slept in our own bed. It was wonderful!! But today reality has set in. Jeff and I didn't sleep at ALL last night. What if we'd done this? Why? What if we'd done that? Our thoughts ran wild and anxiety ruled - through sleeping pills! But we got up this morning and pep talked each other. We are still here. We are tired. We are okay today. We can do this. We still don't want to! Today we are snow balled into a heap! But we've been thru days like this before. This feeling doesn't last forever. Thank goodness your brain will eventually take over and this will be the norm. But for today we are scared to death... We seriously talked about taking a 6 month vacation far away. Seriously. But our kids are watching us. The most important thing in the world to us. We have to show them. How to handle adversity with as much grace and dignity as we can manage. So we will not run away. We will stand and defend. The toughest battle of our lives. But there are SO many great people on our team! We are going to need you. Please get ready!
Delights for the day: Jeff getting up at 6 to feed and ride pens wth Luke. I also got up and fixed breakfast and did 8 loads of laundry and went to the store! The sounds of the kids outsde squeeling and laughing in the pool. Fresh sweet corn and squash casarole for supper! Friends and family that love us no matter what! Special thanks to Dean that drove Jeff around all afternoon to "check stuff" and Kent that sat on our porch forever and filled Jeff with the hope and promise of the Holy Spirit!
Peace,
Leta and Jeff
Delights for the day: Jeff getting up at 6 to feed and ride pens wth Luke. I also got up and fixed breakfast and did 8 loads of laundry and went to the store! The sounds of the kids outsde squeeling and laughing in the pool. Fresh sweet corn and squash casarole for supper! Friends and family that love us no matter what! Special thanks to Dean that drove Jeff around all afternoon to "check stuff" and Kent that sat on our porch forever and filled Jeff with the hope and promise of the Holy Spirit!
Peace,
Leta and Jeff
Friday, July 22, 2011
The News
Jeff and I got back from Houston yesterday. My mom was also with us. It was 3 days of scans and a lung biopsy and finally results yesterday when we saw the dr. We were completely heartbroken to learn that his biopsy confirmed melanoma. From these tests they feel sure the disease has spread to his lungs, liver and two lymph nodes in his neck. He will start aggressive chemo immediately.
But we have two bits of good news that we are holding tight to.
1. His cancer is growing VERY slowing. They ususally see metastized melanoma spread and grow very quickly. His spots are still very small and only grew a couple of milimeters. In fact they said everything is so small that he shouldn't have any symptoms of the disease yet - he still feels really good!
2. The best news of all is that it looks like he will be able to receive his chemo in Amarillo. Dr. Hwu (MDA) called Dr. Patel in Amarillo and he said the kind of chemo Jeff needs to be on can be administered here in Amarillo. That is such a relief!! It is very hard to been in Houston by ourselves.(and scary) I can't help but smile when I think of Jeff getting to have regular love and support from friends and family here. The biggest gift is to NOT have to leave our children! That is agonizing and we hope this is better on our entire family. Jeff will have to be in the hospital for 5 straight days to receive his chemo and then he will have two weeks to recover and then repeat the cycle. The chemo is so strong he can only have 6 cycles. In fact it's so strong he has to have lung and heart tests to make sure his body can withstand the treatment. (Hoping that is a good report)
We did ask "the question"! It's like you want an answer but at the same time once you hear it you can never take it back. Is there a cure for Jeff at this point in his disease? The doctor said yes but only a 10% chance. She told us a story of a man that presented very similar to Jeff with mucosal melanoma that had spread. He responded so well to the chemo he has been disease free for over 2 years. There is a 50% chance he will have a response to the chemo. That means we should see the tumors shrink and become smaller. And if he doesn't respond to the chemo she said it should at least slow the growth of the tumors and they will try another kind of chemo.
So...... needless to say we are sad! I'm sure we'll get a handle on our emotions in a day or two. It just takes a minute to sink in. I've spent all day in my bed with the kids watching Toy Story 3 and Yogi Bear. All that snuggling helped! Jeff went right back to work this morning with Luke. They heal better on a horse! Me in a bed!
We see Dr. Patel on Wednesday. I will let you all know a game plan after we hear it from him. We are praying for a miracle! We want him to be totally cured!!!! We are praying that Jeff is so strong and healthy that his body can fight this cancer with the chemo. We calmed ourselves knowing that we have a strong foundation. We have faith. We know God loves us and He knows the desires of our hearts. We want Jeff here!!! We have also let it all go to God's hands and said Thy will be done. Thanks for all the love and support. We are blessed. Everything important in life we have been blessed with. It didn't take cancer for us to know that!
Love to you all,
Leta and Jeff
But we have two bits of good news that we are holding tight to.
1. His cancer is growing VERY slowing. They ususally see metastized melanoma spread and grow very quickly. His spots are still very small and only grew a couple of milimeters. In fact they said everything is so small that he shouldn't have any symptoms of the disease yet - he still feels really good!
2. The best news of all is that it looks like he will be able to receive his chemo in Amarillo. Dr. Hwu (MDA) called Dr. Patel in Amarillo and he said the kind of chemo Jeff needs to be on can be administered here in Amarillo. That is such a relief!! It is very hard to been in Houston by ourselves.(and scary) I can't help but smile when I think of Jeff getting to have regular love and support from friends and family here. The biggest gift is to NOT have to leave our children! That is agonizing and we hope this is better on our entire family. Jeff will have to be in the hospital for 5 straight days to receive his chemo and then he will have two weeks to recover and then repeat the cycle. The chemo is so strong he can only have 6 cycles. In fact it's so strong he has to have lung and heart tests to make sure his body can withstand the treatment. (Hoping that is a good report)
We did ask "the question"! It's like you want an answer but at the same time once you hear it you can never take it back. Is there a cure for Jeff at this point in his disease? The doctor said yes but only a 10% chance. She told us a story of a man that presented very similar to Jeff with mucosal melanoma that had spread. He responded so well to the chemo he has been disease free for over 2 years. There is a 50% chance he will have a response to the chemo. That means we should see the tumors shrink and become smaller. And if he doesn't respond to the chemo she said it should at least slow the growth of the tumors and they will try another kind of chemo.
So...... needless to say we are sad! I'm sure we'll get a handle on our emotions in a day or two. It just takes a minute to sink in. I've spent all day in my bed with the kids watching Toy Story 3 and Yogi Bear. All that snuggling helped! Jeff went right back to work this morning with Luke. They heal better on a horse! Me in a bed!
We see Dr. Patel on Wednesday. I will let you all know a game plan after we hear it from him. We are praying for a miracle! We want him to be totally cured!!!! We are praying that Jeff is so strong and healthy that his body can fight this cancer with the chemo. We calmed ourselves knowing that we have a strong foundation. We have faith. We know God loves us and He knows the desires of our hearts. We want Jeff here!!! We have also let it all go to God's hands and said Thy will be done. Thanks for all the love and support. We are blessed. Everything important in life we have been blessed with. It didn't take cancer for us to know that!
Love to you all,
Leta and Jeff
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