Baby I'm back!

Yesterday was such a wonderful day! An A+ kind of day.  Jeff woke up and wanted coffee and although it still didn't taste like it used to, he drank it.  And had a big breakfast and then put on jeans!  If that's not normal I don't know what is.  He is still weak but his pain is gone and his mind is clear.  Now that's what I'm talking about!

During the evening we had a big thunderstorm roll in.  The lightning sparked a grass fire close to us but before the fire dept could even get out here the rain started.  We got almost an inch.  It was such a blessing and it made Jeff so very happy. Very exciting around here.

Just as the sun was going down we got a call from the Sheriff's dept letting us know we had some cattle out on the highway.  Long story short, Jeff and I had to go put cattle in.  He was secretly happy to do it, I could tell.   He "let" me drive and bossed me the whole time,  " You're driving too slow, driving too fast, put it in 4 wheel drive, get over there, no get over there."  And I told him, "Quit bossing me, calm down and let me do it, don't tell me what to do, you are driving me crazy, you're welcome!"

  Now that was back to normal!

Jeff's lab results were good.  His blood counts are down but they haven't bottomed out.  Another check on Tuesday.

If you see Jeff Smith on a horse please call me immediately!

We're smiling,
Jeff and Leta

The good, the bad and the ugly rash

Well.  We just got back from Dr. Patels for a blood test.  We walked in and  they all proclaimed Jeff's rash to be the worst they'd ever seen.  Today it is deep purple in color and all over his arms, legs and stomach.  I've never seen anything like it.  Dr. Patel said it was an extreme reaction to the antibiotic probably made worse by the Interleuken 2.  He said it could be  Stevens-Johnson syndrome which is very rare and hardly ever happens to anyone.  Of course it happened to Jeff.  Treatment is simple.  No more of that kind of antibiotic and continue the steroids.  But here's the best part - he said Jeff looked great!  In fact he said he was surprised to see him up and mobile and carrying on a conversation. Jeff does feel a little better.  He's eating more and sleeping less.  His bone pain is SO much better.  He's just wiped out.  Okay here's the really best part, for Jeff anyway.  The dr. told Jeff he could get out of the house and check cattle as long as he wore a mask.  I have to admit to everyone that I have been in a manic mode about protecting Jeff from all things harmful.  I even have to tell you I lectured Jeff about blowing his nose too hard because I didn't want him to get a bloody nose and hemorrage. (That's not very flattering of myself, I know) But Dr. Patel was all chilled out and said it was good for Jeff to "GO INTO HIS FEEDYARD" and check his cattle but wear a mask and don't get dirty.  Good for his mental health he thought! Oh my!  I nearly had a heart attack.  So I convinced Jeff that he would be too tired today but tomorrow I would buy him masks and let Luke drive him around.  How many days do you think I can put that off?  Not many. Jeff is a do-er.  He will check cattle and then eventually it will be fixing fence or a water tank or riding a horse for just a minute.  You know what that means - I'm not in control! Why do I feel better when I think I am?

Tomorrow we should hear how his blood levels are.  Pray they are low but not too low.  If all is well then we don't have to see Dr. Patel until next week.  I may actually calm down a little bit.

Blessings of the day: 
Jeff told Dr. Patel right away, "I only took 80% of the Interleuken2 this time but I plan on me taking 100% next time."  Now that's the man I married!!!!! I love that about him. He's my guy.
There's a blip in the paper about Happy's linemen, the big boys, giving it their all in practice. Go Luke!! And go Cowboys.  Luke has been in such a wonderful mood since football started!

Thankful in every way,
Jeff and Leta

Dark side

Jeff and I are slowly being pulled "into the dark side".  That's how we joke about it.  We just mean that sometimes it's easier to be sad than happy and sometimes the saddness seems like it will be okay if you just hang out with it for a while.  BUT  once you're there it's hard to go back to the light.  We are feeling that today.  Jeff is having a reaction to his antibiotic.  He almost was feeling better and then the rash/hives started.  I really hate to complain but sometimes this all just pisses me off!  We are trying to do everything right and yet the things we can't control have such, well, control over us.  Dang that makes me mad!  But I think this might snap us out of the darkness.  We have to have a blood test run tomorrow which means we won't be able to escape the sunshine.  The rest of the week there is registration, cheerleading, football, birthday parties, slumber parties and a scrimmage.  So I will not have time to be sad.  And Jeff will have to listen to me talk ALL about it.  So there's our solution.  The kids save us again! 

Please pray the rash goes away quickly.  We are nervous to have Jeff take steroids since they inhibit the immune system and we want his to be strong!  Pray for sunny days ahead - a perfect 78 degrees would be nice.  Pray that Jeff does not get an infection while he is off his antibiotic. 

Hanging in there,
Jeff and Leta

Recovery

Since this is Jeff's first round of chemo we really didn't know what to expect - only what we have read.  So every symptom is concerning to us.  He is very weak and is suffering from horrible aching in his bones.  The bone pain is from a medicine they gave him to stimulate his bone marrow to produce new white blood cells. 

Our first night home was very hard.  I think Jeff thought he would feel so much better just to be home and he didn't at all.  In fact he felt worse because he was up too much.  We got home and he couldn't settle and  he turned into the biggest bear.  He got a terrible headache and I thought I was going to have to get the chains and drag him off (cattle term).  But he mercifully fell asleep for the next 36 hours.  The headache is gone!

So we are starting our week.  I called the dr's office and they said all of these symptoms are normal and we will go in for a check up on Friday.  All he needs to do is rest and recover.  I'm sure that's easier said than done.  I don't think he is up to visitors but I'll let you know if that changes.  By the end of the week his blood counts will start to drop dramatically and he won't be able to be around anyone.  He will probably have to receive blood and platelets and odds are he will eventually get an infection.  Although we will try SO hard to protect him.  They said most patients on this type of chemo are back in the hospital pretty often.  So please remind me of that if he gets sick and I start to get hysterical.

The kids are doing well.  Luke is focusing on football and Gracie has cheerleading practice this week.  Jake is sticking to me like glue but I have to admit I kind of like it.  He and I floated in the pool together yesterday and had some great "talk" without having to talk too much.  My children understand the situation and we have been upfront and honest with them about everything. We are just holding them close and thank goodness they are letting us. One funny moment: Jake pointed out that he probably shouldn't pick his nose and if he did he should wash his hands! At least he's on the ball!

We're taking it slow.  We are continuing to be thankful and pray, in that order.  One day at a time.  I tell Jeff everyday that this is not the way he will feel forever.  It will get better.  It's not permanent.  Or maybe I'm telling myself that.  Yes, I think that's what I'm doing.

Thanks for all the love,
Jeff and Leta

The VERY good news!

Jeff is going home today! He is such an over achiever that hes going home much sooner than expected. We are so happy and relieved. He's starting to become very fussy which I see as a great sign. He hates the bed, he hates the food and we both hate the smells! He wants to be in his bed and hold his kids. He wants to eat his Mom's homemade rolls and look out his window and see his cattle. As of today his blood levels are still normal. But they will quickly start to drop. He really won't be able to have any visitors while he's home due to the risk of infection. Within a week his white blood count will probably drop to zero and he will have no immune system. But that won't last very long and he'll start to rebound.

Please keep praying and calling and texting and emailing. We need it!

Love to you all!
Jeff and Leta

Good news/Bad news

Dr Patel stopped Jeff's chemo last night at 10 pm. His body couldn't take anymore. His lungs were starting to have fluid in them and his edema and rash continued to get worse. The good news is he received all of the regular chemo and 80% of the Interleuken2 and the Interferon. The dr assured us that is plenty and most people can't even handle that much. We will wait 2-3 weeks and start round 2. Six hours after they stopped the meds Jeff felt better. His rash is better and we are waiting for him to start losing 15 lbs of fluid! He will be in the hospital longer than we thought, at least a couple more days.

I got to witness some true love and grace this morning. I hope Jeff will remember the moment. I forget that this is hard on other people too. I really only think in terms of Jeff and the kids. But someone Jeff needs and loves faced their fear and came to be with Jeff today. I know it was grace and Gods love that did it. It was simple and beautiful. You know it's Gods touch when your throat closes up and it streams down your face and your heart nearly bursts. Whew! We have been praying for healing and we meant Jeff's body. God knew some hearts needed healing too.

Great things about today:

Jeff is a little better.
No more hiccups!!!
I took a shower for the first time in 2 days.
Friends posted pics of Luke at midnight madness.
Goodness is contagious and we've been exposed to a lot!

Love, Jeff and Leta

End of the day

We are making it through this tough day minute by minute. My Mom was up here and that calmed us both. Jeffs hiccups stopped at one and he had four hours of relief. But after two bites of supper they are back! NO!!! We are praying they don't last all night again.

Luke has Midnight Madness tonight - first workout in pads. We're sick we can't be there to watch him. All my friends in Happy will have to be his substitute parents tonight. Go Luke! Go Cowboys!

Blessings today:
Good medicine that has stopped some of the agony.
My friend Meg brought supper for my family and brownies for me. She lives in Lubbock and came all the way up here. Overwhelmed by her love and friendship!
A rain shower!
Sisters.
My Mom.
Saying "in sickness and in health" over 19 years ago and finding out you really mean it.


We only have about 22 hours left in round one of chemotherapy!!! I really want to meet someone that has done all 6 rounds of this and check them out. They must be superman.

Over and out.
Jeff and Leta