I loved him

I loved him so much.  I truly did.  The first time I saw him I knew.  We met in high school.  He was a junior and I was a sophomore at Canyon High School.  We had typing together.  Mrs. Cotton - I'll never forget.  He was  a cowboy and I was ....... not.  I loved drama and music and  and being popular.         ( Can you picture that?) I had a huge crush on him and he paid no attention to me.  Fast forward four years to WT.  We saw each other at a Maine's Brothers dance in the Activity Center.  I knew he was the one and he said he didn't remember my name but he had dreamed about me for years.  True story.  We were together from that day on.  I told him I loved him every day - unless I was SO mad at him.  I hugged and kissed him everyday.  He loved me too.  He wanted to have 5 kids.  I told him he should have married me when I was 14.  He was smart and funny and he worked so hard.  I thought he was the cutest boy I had ever seen.  He thought he was always right and he drove me crazy.  I always won and he was good with that.

So today, one year later, I'm thinking about him.  Today I am remembering, and I am  overwhelmingly sad.  But I am choosing happiness.  I'm choosing life and I'm choosing to go on.  He would be so mad if I didn't.  This will not be the end of me or my kids.  Instead of marking this day as something that haunts me,  I will take this day to be thankful for the time I had with a wonderful man.  The older I get the more I realize that we had something that was special and unique.  Man it was a gift!  I will cherish it always and hold it close.

I swear I'm smiling.

Leta