Comfort for us all

During Jeff's illness we sought a lot of comfort. We looked for people and words and things to ease our pain. I carried around a notebook with important information and things that were special to me. It had some pictures and some prayers that I looked at a lot. I haven't opened the notebook in months but I moved it the other day and a piece of paper containing a prayer must have fallen out. I found it today. I need to share it because I think we all need to be sharing the things that comfort us.  It's really more of a commission, a blessing.  It's something very special to me.

 The words were written by my cousin John to my Aunt Kay.  John was comforting her as she grieved the loss of her daughter, Lauren.  The prayer wasn't about me or Jeff but we held on to it like it was.  We read it a lot.  And today I think there are a lot of people that can hold on to it.  The words are meant for all of us, especially those who are hurting so much today.

"May God, the father of all, firmly set you in the moment,
May you be suffocated by love,
May you have the courage and fortitude to cry, yell, appreciate silence, revel in "keeping busy," and find an interval of laughter.
May the MERCY of Jesus Christ follow all your works.
May your hands find joy, do goodness, and demonstrate love.
May the militant action of the Holy Spirit bring you the Grace of God in whatever moment you find yourself."

We need to generate more mercy, more love for one another and more tolerance to everyone.  I'm in short supply but I am going to do my best.

Leta

12-12-12

It's supposed to be a lucky day. I don't know if I believe in luck but it would be nice to have a good day. Life is continuing to move us along. We are busy. We are sad. We're a little lost. We're trying our best. We're wanting Jeff everyday and some of us are VERY mad. I've come to the conclusion that you have to feel it all sooner or later. So here we are swimming in it. It's not fun and after only three months we are pretty sure there is no ending to this sorrow or a chance we will ever be happy again. The kids and I have one big secret. We can fake it. We can go out in public, we can be around people and we can smile and even laugh. But our little family knows the truth. So we are trying to get through this horrible holiday season. We put up our tree and decorations and lights. We are going through the motions. We didn't go or participate in the Christmas pageant. I don't know if we will go to Christmas Eve church. We limit our exposure to Christmas carols on the radio. And happy, jolly people - well, we steer away from them. The kids are still all in for presents though. Football is over and all 3 kids are playing basketball. They all want to just be normal and be with their friends. I'm trying not to hover and hold on too tight. Luke got accepted to Texas Tech and WTAMU. I'm sure he'll go to Tech. He deserves that wonderful experience! Gracie and Jake and I can't even talk about how much we'll miss him. Stock show season is quickly approaching and we will be headed to Ft Worth, San Antonio and Houston. So I'm glad our time will be filled. I've decided to keep up the blog for a little bit longer. I think it will be something the kids will want to read when they're adults. There must be so much they can't understand or process right now. And maybe me too. Leta